Poli-correct Language!
You wouldn't want to offend anyone, now would you?!
[9/00]   [9/99]

Before 9/00

Fat = Circumferencially privileged
submitted by Douglas Milsom (8/00)

33rd U.S. President: Harry S Truperson
submitted by Darrell Gray

Manhole cover: Personhole cover
submitted by Darrell Gray

Before 9/99

Mankind, Human:  Earth Children

Woman:  Womyn

Girl:  Pre-Womyn

Dirty Old Man:  Sexually Focused, Chronologically Gifted Individual

Psychopath:  Socially Misaligned

Perverted:  Sexually Dysfunctional

Serial-Killer:  Person with Difficult-to-meet Needs

Insane People:  Selectively Perceptive Mental Explorers

Bisexual:  Sexually Non-preferential

Lazy:  Motivationally Deficient

Self-centered:  Egotistically Accelerated

Narrow-minded:  Perceptually Challenged

Fat:  Horizontally Challenged, Alternative Body Image

Obese:  Gravitationally Challenged

Fail:  Achieve a Deficiency

Dishonest:  Ethically Disoriented

Bald:  Follicularly Challenged, Follically Disadvantaged, Comb-Free

Blind:  Visually Challenged, Photonically Non-receptive, Optically Darker

Clumsy:  Uniquely Coordinated

Body Odor:  Nondiscretionary Fragrance

Alive:  Temporarily Metabolically-abled

Worst:  Least Best

Wrong:  Differently Logical

Ugly:  Cosmetically Different, Aesthetically Challenged

Short:  Vertically Challenged, Differently Statured

Old Person / Elderly:  4th-Dimentionally Extended, Gerontologically Advanced

Dead People:  Dysfunctional Earth Children, Biologically Challenged, Living
impaired, metabolically different, Metaphysically Challenged

Vagrant:  Nonspecifically Destinationed Individual

Spendthrift:  Negative Saver

Gang:  Youth Group

Drug addict :  Chemically Challenged

Stoned:  Chemically Inconvenienced

Net addict :  Cybernetically Challenged

Drunk/Trashed:  Spatially Perplexed

Pregnant:  Parasitically Oppressed

Ignorant:  Knowledge-based Nonpossessor

Trees:  Oxygen Exchange Units

Tree-Hugger:  Environmental Activist

Logger:  Wood Weasel, Paper Pirate, Treeslayer

Paper bag:  Processed Tree Carcass

Meter Maid:  Parking Enforcement Aduciator

Post Man:  Post Person

Mail Man:  Person Person

Housewife:  Domestic Engineer

Dish washer:  Utensil Sanitizer

Janitor:  Sanitation Engineer

Poor:  Economically Unprepared

Panhandler:  Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding.

Unemployed:  Involuntarily Leisured

Bum:  Displaced Homeowner, Philosophy Major

Send in your politically correct terms!